Politicshuman rightsGender Equality
Who is the “trad husband”?
Daniel and Brianna Bell met as college students near Toronto, two young people drawn together by faith and a shared vision for family life shaped by Brianna's conservative Christian church. For Brianna, this meant embracing what would later be branded online as the 'tradwife' lifestyle—making her own laundry detergent, cultivating a gentle and meek demeanor, and consistently prioritizing her husband, children, and God above herself.Daniel, stepping into the role of pastor and provider, found the reality of being a 'trad husband' far more complex than the curated online ideal. On one hand, he never had to cook and barely had to clean, a domestic freedom many might envy.On the other, he shouldered the immense, grinding pressure of providing for his entire household on a pastor's salary that could dip as low as $9,000 a year, a near-impossible task that left him feeling the weight of his family's desires resting squarely and heavily on his shoulders. This financial strain was just one of the contradictions that began to chafe; the theoretical authority of being the head of the household, the man with the final say, never felt practical or right in the messy, collaborative reality of a marriage.The Bells' story reveals the profound silence surrounding the 'trad husband,' a figure who is structurally essential to the tradwife narrative yet remains almost entirely in the shadows. While influencers like Hannah Neeleman of Ballerina Farm command audiences in the millions, their husbands, like Daniel Neeleman, exist as supporting characters, benevolent background figures in a visually-driven genre where the woman's labor—baking, gardening, crafting—is the main attraction.The work of the trad husband, by contrast, is often neither photogenic nor particularly desirable; the soul-destroying 'company man' of the 1950s is a well-trodden archetype of American literature for a reason. Even the more aesthetically pleasing blue-collar jobs celebrated in some online circles—farming, construction—are rapidly disappearing from the modern economy, making the sole-breadwinner model an increasingly unattainable fantasy.I've spoken with sociologists like Pamela Aronson of the University of Michigan Dearborn, who notes the decades-long decline of the male breadwinner, and Aliya Rao of the London School of Economics, who emphasizes the enormous pressure this model places on men, pressure many may not want even with its accompanying patriarchal benefits. This creates a vacuum in the cultural conversation.Conservative politicians often focus on influencing women's choices regarding family and career, but what is the equivalent vision for men? Some young men in Christian circles do aspire to be 'godly husbands,' yet broader trends show Gen Z men, while often prioritizing fatherhood, rank marriage below financial independence and a fulfilling career. The existing trad narrative offers little for men who want to be deeply involved fathers; the archetype typically shows the mother alone with the children while the father is offscreen, working.Perhaps a more relevant, emerging model is the 'dadfluencer,' men like Joey Foo who chronicle the realities of childcare and domestic life, building followings by engaging in the very hands-on work the trad framework often sidelines. For the Bells, the journey led them to a complete role reversal.Brianna, pulling away from the rigid doctrines of her past, became a journalist and author, now earning more than Daniel. This shift, Daniel reflects, brought them 'so much more freedom.' Their evolution was ultimately driven by a desire to parent their three daughters well, to model a relationship built not on prescribed roles but on seeing the full humanity and love in one's spouse. Their story is a powerful reminder that behind the hashtags and highly-stylized online personas are real people navigating the difficult, beautiful, and often contradictory work of building a life together.
#trad husband
#traditional gender roles
#masculinity
#breadwinner
#family
#culture & trends
#lead focus news
