If you haven’t failed big, you aren’t ready to lead

2 hours ago7 min read

The most enduring leaders aren’t the ones with flawless résumés; they’re the ones who’ve been tested, humbled, and reshaped by failure. I learned this not in a boardroom, but in a dance studio.From an early age, my life was a relentless pursuit of becoming a professional ballet dancer. Ballet wasn't merely a passion—it was my identity, my future, my entire world, until a single audition in Vienna, marked by a sudden injury, shattered the career I had meticulously built for years.That moment, which felt like an ending, was instead the beginning of a profound reinvention. I pivoted into the seemingly alien worlds of finance and marketing, building a career at institutions like American Express and Amazon, and today, I advise boards and CEOs on succession and talent at Egon Zehnder.This journey has cemented one truth in my mind: setbacks are not detours; they are essential gifts. If you haven't failed in a meaningful, soul-shaking way, you simply aren't ready to lead.When life doesn't go according to plan, it forces a brutal but necessary reflection. Perhaps you were passed over for a promotion you felt you deserved, or a product launch you championed fell flat with customers.These are the moments that strip away our comfortable narratives and make us ask the hard questions: Am I communicating my value effectively? Have I cultivated genuine sponsorship? Am I seen as a leader or just a reliable executor? Failure exposes the fragility of our self-perception and teaches us the critical distinction between performing good work and being perceived as ready to steer others. It’s in these quiet, difficult spaces, far from the applause, that true resilience is forged.Consider Mary Barra, who rose through the ranks of engineering at General Motors when few women did. Her leadership was truly tested during the 2014 ignition-switch crisis.Instead of deflecting, she stood before Congress, took responsibility, and began the arduous task of reshaping the company's culture. That public failure became her defining moment, a testament to the fact that leadership isn't about avoiding questions but about answering them with clarity and a commitment to growth.Similarly, Jeff Bezos’s philosophy of being 'stubborn on vision, flexible on details' was proven not by the success of the Fire Phone, but by its commercial failure. Amazon listened, learned, and pivoted, using those hard-won insights to birth Alexa.This illustrates a vital leadership lesson: conviction without listening is merely arrogance, while conviction that adapts to feedback is true strength. Passion cannot override market truth, and tenacity can easily curdle into tunnel vision if we are not actively listening to our teams, our customers, and the world around us.In my work, I frequently encounter leaders with brilliant ideas who cannot influence others. This is not a strategic failure but a leadership one.Influence is born from empathy—the ability to understand what others value and where they hesitate. This empathy is often a direct product of failure.When we fall short, we are forced to confront our blind spots and hear hard truths. Satya Nadella’s early stumbles with Microsoft’s mobile strategy led him to foster a more collaborative, learning-oriented culture, rebuilding trust and repositioning the company for a new era.His story reminds us that failure is not just a test of grit; it's an opportunity to become the kind of leader people genuinely want to follow. Ultimately, failure builds humanity, and humanity is the bedrock of lasting leadership.Many of our most respected figures have careers marked by public missteps and personal reinventions. These experiences don't just humble you; they humanize you.Leadership without that essential humanity is brittle and short-lived. Ballet remains a part of me.I attend performances, and my closest friends are still dancers. In a beautiful twist, my daughter is now a more talented dancer than I ever was.Watching her on stage is a poignant reminder that what I once perceived as the end of my story was merely the prologue to hers. This is the unexpected gift of setbacks: they don't just close doors; they open better ones, but only if you are willing to walk through them without the heavy, constricting armor of perfection.As I guide leaders through complexity, a clear pattern emerges: the most effective ones are those who have been tested by hardship. They hold their conviction while remaining open to challenge, understanding that every stumble is a chance to rethink, reframe, and reemerge stronger.In a world of relentless disruption, we need leaders who can metabolize failure into progress. Credibility isn't built on an unblemished record of being right, but on the grace, wisdom, and humility demonstrated when you are wrong.So if you are facing a setback, don't rush to move past it. Sit with the discomfort.It may very well be the greatest gift you receive on your leadership journey. Embrace it, learn from it, and allow it to remake you. Because the story you meticulously planned might not be the story you are meant to live, and your most powerful chapter may begin on the very next page after your most significant failure.

#leadership

#failure

#resilience

#career change

#personal development

#featured

Stay Informed. Act Smarter.

Get weekly highlights, major headlines, and expert insights — then put your knowledge to work in our live prediction markets.