How to break the solopreneur 'loneliness loop'

2 hours ago7 min read2 comments

When Gabriela Flax left her corporate position managing forty people to pursue her career coaching business solo, trading London's bustling office environment for Sydney's quieter spaces, she initially cherished the newfound silence—the absence of constant movement, office hum, and elevator dings felt like a luxury. But that quiet soon revealed its sharp edges.'I’d get off a work call super excited because I signed a new client,' she recalls, 'go to my kitchen to make a coffee, and no one’s there… just my dog looking back at me. ' This experience, which led her to initially name her Substack 'No One’s in the Kitchen,' underscores a profound psychological shift many solopreneurs face: the transition from collective energy to solitary endeavor, where professional triumphs lack witnesses and daily rhythms unfold in isolation.Research, including studies highlighted in journals like Entrepreneurship Theory and Practice, points to a unique type of loneliness stemming from acute uncertainty, resource constraints, and the weight of sole responsibility. Online communities, from Reddit threads to Discord groups, brim with solo founders seeking solace, echoing Flax’s sentiment that 'the loneliness can come from a lack of people, but it can also come from being the only person who holds your ‘why’ so tightly.' Dr. Michael A.Freeman, a San Francisco-based psychiatrist specializing in entrepreneurs, emphasizes that loneliness can become a mental health emergency, noting that even those with large networks often engage in 'transactional role relationships' that fail to alleviate the isolation of pursuing a deeply personal vision. This dynamic feeds what researchers Ashley Evenson and Beki Gowing describe as a 'vicious and toxic cycle,' where loneliness erodes decision-making and creativity, leading to overwork and further social withdrawal.Diane Sullivan, a business professor at the University of Dayton, frames this as a regulatory loop of loneliness, where some founders proactively build connections while others retreat, exacerbating their isolation. In response, experts advocate for 'deep social' experiences—meaningful, offline interactions that counter the shallow engagements of digital platforms.Juliana Schroeder, an associate professor at Berkeley Haas, explains that people often miscalibrate their expectations of social awkwardness, finding that genuine conversations override anticipated discomfort. Flax, for instance, turned to creative solutions like digital lunch invites via TikTok and long-form writing to forge connections, emphasizing that seeking community outside traditional work hours—say, at a gym or coffee shop midday—can reveal others navigating similar paths.Quality over quantity matters, too; Freeman highlights the value of relationships where the solopreneur isn’t the leader, such as joining a sports team for camaraderie, while Flax notes that online cohorts lose meaningful connection beyond six to seven people, favoring breakout sessions for one-on-one engagement. Beyond social strategies, foundational self-care plays a role—Tim Michaelis, founder of the Health in Entrepreneurship Conference, stresses physical activity and sleep as buffers, with research showing leisure activities improve detachment and venture performance.Engaging with local universities or community events can also bridge isolation, offering win-win collaborations. Interestingly, Claude Fernet, an organizational behavior professor, suggests solopreneurs might face less stress than 'owner-managers' who bear the burden of others' wellbeing, though the psychological toll of isolation remains significant in both cases.Ultimately, Flax advises reframing loneliness as a temporary stage in building something meaningful, where solitude eventually fuels community. 'Don’t fight it,' she says, 'because the day will come where the work you put into it is seen by others. ' This nuanced perspective reminds us that the solopreneur’s journey isn’t just about business growth but about navigating the human need for connection in a landscape often defined by solitude.

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