Active Listening: A Key Leadership Habit for Liking

6 hours ago7 min read6 comments

For years, email, texting, and messaging apps have ruled how we communicate, creating a digital cacophony where genuine connection often gets lost in the noise. But one timeless human skill—often neglected in our haste to respond and react—is quietly emerging as a true difference-maker in the digital age: active listening.It’s both an art and a discipline, a subtle force that separates average leaders from exceptional ones while making them instantly more likable in the process. I've spent countless hours interviewing professionals from various walks of life, from startup founders in co-working spaces to seasoned executives in corner offices, and a common thread in their most meaningful interactions always circles back to this profound, often undervalued, practice.The truth is, active listening forms the very foundation of effective communication; it's the heartbeat of strong relationships, both professional and personal. Yet, as technology consumes more of our attention, we’re collectively losing touch with this skill—and with it, a powerful competitive advantage in business.When you focus on your people—their growth, their needs, their challenges—none of it truly works without listening deeply first. After 25 years of observing human dynamics, I've learned that the most effective individuals know precisely when to stop talking and start listening.Few things elevate a conversation more than genuine attentiveness. When you truly listen, you aren't just hearing words; you are showing a fundamental respect for the person speaking, you are demonstrating a curiosity about their inner world, and you are practicing a form of humility that is increasingly rare.I think of this as authentic listening. It’s the ability to understand what’s really happening on the other side of the conversation—to sense the unspoken will of a group, help clarify it, and create alignment around it.The management thinker Peter Drucker once said, 'The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said,' and authentic listeners do exactly that. They listen intuitively, not just for facts or prepared responses, but for the deeper meaning, the emotional subtext, the quiet hopes and unvoiced fears.They lean into conversations with a palpable empathy, seeking to understand what matters most to the other person. This kind of listening is inherently selfless, not self-centered.It always circles back to one powerful, guiding question: How can I help this person right now? The hard part, of course, is that good listening always requires a hefty dose of humility. In my conversations with executives, I often find that the higher one climbs the corporate ladder, the more challenging it becomes to embrace the humble responsibility of inviting feedback—and then to have the courage and openness to truly listen to it without defensiveness.It’s a tall order, a vulnerable act that runs counter to the image of the all-knowing leader. There are several nuanced approaches to successfully listening for feedback.Being open, for instance, means listening without interruption, objections, or the immediate urge to defend your position. Being responsive involves listening without turning the tables back to yourself; it’s about asking thoughtful questions for clarification, not to steer the conversation.Being accountable means you seek to understand the real-world effects and consequences of your own behavior. Being self-aware requires a constant check on your own emotional reactions, your body language, and how you are being perceived in the very act of listening.And perhaps most fundamentally, being quiet means refraining from making, or even preparing to make, a response. It means resisting the instinct to explain, defend, or immediately try to fix the situation presented to you.A lot of people mistakenly believe that listening just means sitting quietly and absorbing what someone else is saying. But according to the authors of *Radical Listening*, the best listeners don’t just nod along—they engage with great follow-up questions.These aren't interrogations, but invitations. Questions that connect deeply to what the speaker just said, showing you are fully present and engaged.Open-ended questions that cannot be answered with a simple 'yes' or 'no,' but instead invite deeper reflection and insight. Questions designed to gently encourage more sharing, helping people open up about their plans, their emotions, and their unique perspectives on the world.At first, asking questions might feel like the opposite of listening, like you are steering the conversation. But the research tells a different, more compelling story.Studies consistently show that employees across cultures and organizations worldwide link good listening directly with strong leadership. It’s a universal language of respect.As we all move forward in this increasingly fragmented world, embracing listening means relating to others with more curiosity and intent. Treat it not as a corporate tactic, but as a human experiment in your own professional and personal development. Make it a key tool in your relational toolbox, one that requires practice, patience, and a genuine willingness to connect on a level that transcends the transactional nature of so much modern communication.

#active listening

#leadership skills

#communication

#executive coaching

#workplace relationships

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