You should be having more slumber parties with your friends

2 hours ago7 min read

It had been one of those weeks that drains you completely, and Tonna Obaze found herself craving the simple comfort of her friend Bria's company, yet utterly unwilling to leave the sanctuary of her own couch. The solution, when it arrived, felt both brilliantly obvious and wonderfully nostalgic: a sleepover.Both women, navigating the demanding currents of their late twenties and early thirties in New York City, had worked late into that Friday evening. Bria arrived in comfortable sweats, and they proceeded to raid the fridge, order takeout, and queue up a movie, only to abandon the film almost immediately in favour of a sprawling, freewheeling conversation that meandered from family dynamics to therapy breakthroughs and the labyrinthine world of modern dating.They eventually fell asleep side-by-side on the couch, a scene that Obaze described with a palpable sense of yearning. 'There were even a couple tears shed,' she confessed, 'where we, as people in our late 20s, our early 30s, have just been yearning to get back to this friendship where you can sit on the couch and eat whatever's in the fridge, watch a movie, and just catch up with each other with no ending or timing in sight.' This sentiment echoes a quiet, growing movement among adults, particularly women, who are rediscovering the profound intimacy and connection forged not in curated dinners or scheduled happy hours, but in the unstructured, banal togetherness of a platonic sleepover. The humble sleepover is a foundational ritual of youth, a space for whispered secrets and sugary snacks that often loses its lustre as we age, replaced by the functional sleeping arrangements of roommates, partners, and family.Yet, as the constraints of adulthood mount and the loneliness epidemic deepens, there is a compelling psychological case to be made for its revival. Jeffrey Hall, a professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas, notes that these overnight gatherings eliminate the exhausting need for 'impression management.' When you're not trying to make a good public appearance at a bar or restaurant, you can simply be. 'We're just there to be with one another,' Hall explains, highlighting how the purposeless nature of the event—eating, watching TV, sleeping—allows friends to be boring together, a much-needed antidote to the pressure to be always-on.Research supports this, showing that performing even the most basic daily activities in the presence of another person significantly enhances their enjoyment. The magic, however, often peaks in the most vulnerable moments: the shared skincare routines, the commentary on a friend's choice of pyjamas, the observation of their peculiar pillow arrangements.Jaimie Arona Krems, an associate professor of psychology and director of the UCLA Center for Friendship Research, points out the deep trust built in these moments. 'You've seen how I do my hair at night,' she says, 'or you've seen my big, stupid sleep shirt, and we're still friends, and you didn't tell anyone else.' This tangible baring of one's mundane self can pave the way for greater emotional vulnerability, creating a cocooned space where guards are lowered and true selves are revealed. This isn't an experience limited to single women in metropolitan hubs.In Lakeland, Florida, Maegan Thompson, 31, regularly hosts sleepovers where ten or so friends—some of whom are parents—gather to play games, sit by a bonfire, and watch TV cuddled together, recapturing the effortless bonding of childhood. For those with families, the concept can be adapted; imagine a multi-family backyard campout, where the absence of a firm end time fosters deeper, distraction-free connection.The underlying thread is the reclamation of time—the most scarce resource in adult friendship. An extended, concentrated hangout is a far richer investment in a relationship than a rushed drink scheduled months in advance.As Deandra Kanu, a 29-year-old from Los Angeles, reflected after a sleepover with her long-distance best friend, 'I think that it's the ability to just be yourself without entertainment. That's what a sleepover is.You guys are the entertainment. ' In a world that often feels performative and fragmented, the adult sleepover offers a rare and precious opportunity to simply be, together, rediscovering the profound truth that the things we bonded over as children are, in fact, the very same things that sustain us as adults.

#adult friendships

#sleepovers

#social connection

#mental health

#platonic relationships

#weeks picks news

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